Apr 18, 2022

It is not hate I fear
It is apathy; a lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern I could have for you

We meet
There is so much getting to know that happens
I look forward to speaking with you, getting elated about our next FaceTime
It is the ease of speaking to you
Watching you go about your day, as I go about mine
Connecting without saying much
Because there is so much connecting to do without words.

Then, we start to explore the difficult sides of each other
Because life is difficult- you are the last thing I want to be difficult
So, we start to have less fun, we no longer laugh about stupid things late into the night

We start to speak less
Here and there every other day
Soon, I am no longer interested in how your day went
Or what you had for lunch
Talking to you starts to feel like a chore
Till the excitement fizzles out to complete boredom

So, it is not hate I fear
Because I don’t think I am capable of that emotion
It is apathy- just sheer boredom of you.